Decidedly Deranged

coming back to life

2011-02-26T22:25:00.000-08:00

this post is about me coming back to life.ive been dead for a while.not just in blogosphere but my personal life as well..what have i been doing in the past few months
heres a list
-drinking every alternate day(check)
-starting smoking(check)
-trying weed(check)
-getting into relationship with the wrong guy(check)
-coming back to hostel at 12 everyday(check)
-getting stitches on my foot for smashing a beer bottle on my leg(check)
-flunking in exams (check)
-going for fests to BITS n IIT n winning random prizes for acting (check)

and after all the above i finally have gotten my life back on track (hallelujah!!!!)
(check) =P

luv the crazy girl next door

pictures speak louder than words =D

2010-09-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

college and me

2010-08-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

i have too much to write and too little to say.surprised?well college is like that.hectic,fun,mad,unexpected,weird and something just enough to make you feel at home..
i have met so many people...believe me there are more to go

love hate,sadness-bliss all exists..
it is weird that a month has passed like the zapp but the stuff ive experianced doesn't seem even close to a month.

i have been in a quite a few controversies like being taken for a scary goth,my wacky nailpaints,being abused by a drunk loser,being ignored by a bunch of gals(who i now call friends) and then loved by the very same friends,sitting at lunch table when m the only gal in a bunch of 8-10 guys(ok i lied thats not a controversy but i definitely get some stares),participating in every activity..n being a motormouth..the good side-i cannot complain lifes a bore

i have some awesome friends now(dont ask how many,it'll take 4ever to xplain...new are added everyday)..thats reminds me akshee,ankita and i were dancing at 11 in the dark in our hostel room yesterday.
the funny thing is every week gets better...
ah life

i got intervied by 2 senior guys for a club interview(dunn 4get the GD and teamwrk round) and i acted so bloody confident n cool...it was funny..anyway it went well.hope they take me

my guy gang is super fun n sumtyms really crazy...i swear the things i hear at times..
the best part is that i've realised lifes fun without the alcohol,fagging and drugs people throw in in college...manipal is famous for that but its not true..sure i know people who do it but the fact is there is no need..there area 100 better things to do here...

well i'm off..gotta read the fountainhead

confessions of a confused soul

2010-06-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

i have finally become an atheist..thats right after a lifetime of battle between logic,reason, spirituality and god knows what i have succumbed to reason.mind you i have always been one of those people who has thought that people say they are atheist just for the sake of looking cool...

i have also been the person who hates Hinduism and idol worship

i have also been the person who wears a locket in the name of god around my neck because my mother says so(still do...ahh m such a Hypocrite)

i was also the person who said that there is a inner voice which speaks out to me when i do something wrong..maybe thats god..

so tell me i ended up being exactly what?so i said to myself enough is enough little one choose your standing..choose a path and end the confusion once in for all..

pssttt..i have something to say....whenever i prayed to god it was more out of fear that if i don't pray to him something bad will happen..silly right?and now what do i think?i think that i do enough good without the need of god being there.if i am a good person at heart regardless of my belief,religion yadda yadda i can rest in peace and nothing horrible should happen..haha yeahh right.as if people.....anything could happen but who the hell cares?

Hilarious stuff xD-->twilight lovers stay away though

2010-06-03T02:29:00.003-07:00

yoohoo i'm alive....i'm not dead yet!

2010-05-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

OMG i survived..like really i survived..i survived school(big thing trust me...)

and i'm going to the college where i always wanted to go(a bigger thing)

i did 7000 rupees worth of shopping(my mums alive too don't worry)

and i am finally getting freedom

did i tell you i got a delhi simcard and mum dad still dunno bout it..HAHA

i talk late night..i talk in the morning no one knows thanks to our soundproof doors

i sleep at 4 and wakeup at 11 in the morn

and then listen to michael buble' all day long

so lifes not all that bad right??/

and the best part is lifes about to get better.....so i'm off to buy orange and yellow nailpaint don't ask me why???

confessions of a moron

2010-05-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

i confess in 17 years of my life i have felt a worthless moron number of times so this isn't really a new feeling the problem is its taking me to a whole new level...my entrance exam results are out 20,000;50,000 shit shameful isn't it?i can't face me but then again i hadn't expected miracles in the first place seeing that i didn't study only....i'm suffering from loser lurgy...goddamn it the worst part is my parents are cool about it they think i'll get through somewhere.......i just feel like being away from everyone at this point..i don't want my friends to tell me ill help you out i'll talk to dad shit thats so so pathetic ain't it?agrrhh i wanna be a hermit at this point of life.

about love,lies and a whole lotta rubbish

2010-04-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

i haven't expressed my opinion on something for a long time and i'm dying to let my inner feelings flow like red hot lava...

lets starts with the word love

i won't be stupid enough to say it doesn't exist..no it does but it exists in 1% of the frigging society(the hopes of me finding it are dim)...about guys?most of the guys my age want a gf for eyecandy,to flaunt and just to show they have gf(koi bhi chalegee??)i mean everyone has someone these days..see either love is easy to find(yeahh as if) or it comes cheap...

boy:r u single?

girl:yes?

boy:do you want fraandship?

girl:yes please

boy:me luv u...ohhh jaan and such crapp

girl to friend: hes the one

after 5 days

boy(avoiding phonecalls)

girl(crying):i'll commit suicide

or the reverse case

boy:if you don't call me ill slit my wrists..i can't live without you

OMG where has the brain gone..for a walk?????its ok to go out with a person but just for the sake of finding love..when will the world understand you DO NOT find love(unless you count matrimonial sites which in my opinion is solely for losers)

P.S. if you're single like me and have not had a bf yet you are not abnormal(i'm putting fair guesswork here coz dumb people generally do not read my blog)

yes i do wonder if i'm abnormal that i am NOT following the current society norms of dating but nevermind if this is abnormal i'd rather be sane and have brains....

HOPEFULLY i won't die a spinster and if i do..please show it to the"fraandship guys" and have a good laugh

chickens and colour pencils

2010-04-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

i've finally shifted to delhi..now i'm stuck in a crashcourse but before the bad days started i had 3 days to live my life xD tragic very tragic...those 3 days were dedicated to a pup,my best friends isha and shubhz.....

bad experiences in delhi????

-->OMG the worst experience ever...a gunda on my way back from tuts to my home said "excuse me i've been watching you....i really like you" i was like agrrhh go away go away..i chickened out completely....turns out i'm not a strong girl atall..thankfully bhamini was there(who is a head shorter than me) i hid behind her and she told him go away shes not interested and the guy was like tell her to say that ..i'm like i'm not i'm not Go AWAY..get lost...thank god for bhamini i'm sure ill be dead otherwise

--> the crash course guys making fun of my name..duhh my filmy name"dipasha mukherji"...

and finally i made something..-->

wannabe

2010-03-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

i'm a wannabe

i want to famous

i wanna be rich

i want to adored

i want to be something

but unfortunately its not gonna happen in this lifetime

i'm an ordinary mortal who forgets to comb her hair before she goes out

curses at the zit that pops out every week

who wants to be different and doesn't know how

wants to fit in but doesn't know how either

wants to run but always ends up tripping

and wants to be serious but ends up laughing

wants to be respected and ends up as the joker

wants everything and nothing....

thinks too much and then pretends that she wasn't serious

plays with stray puppies and jumps in school corridors..dances in front of the teacher

and makes faces at them and tries hard not to do hardwork

yes the ordinary teen should be classified under genre unidentifiable

theres no cure for the thirst when there are no certain methods to quench it......

yes i'm a wannabe..i'll always be....i'll always look at a guy and say i wish i was him or a gal n say...its lucky to be her..becoz human beings are rarely satisfied....i'll try to be content with being me but you see its oh so hard when the world changes every 15 seconds...

check this out xD

2010-02-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

me and my activa

2010-02-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

3 incidents that seem utterly impossible now that i think of it..but they did happen

--->i came out from my class and went to start my activa...then did a double take..my silencer(the fat cylindrical thing) had fallen ..thats right it just fell off...it was hanging on the ground by a cm of steel

--->i ran my activa straight into knee deep mud and cudn move..one move and i wud've fallen fully into it....so i was stuck in an uncomfortable almost bogey monster position and i laughed -___-....thankfully a guy helped me out

--->i banged into this autowala from behind..dented his thing...and obviously dented my front wheel so my activa couldn't move...and that guy (autowala) dropped me to school and hes was like"beta aap thik ho naa"xD

the good old days

2010-01-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

this is a class 11 conversation

me:me lurves you yeesha...aayaa lurvess eeyu

isha:me lurves eeyu too...*giggles shyly

me:khom and meet me yunder the banyan tree

isha:aiyo why??

me:me khiss you...mooo moo

isha:natty natty*hits me gently and giggles

me:comeon baby ..yaati kya khandala..

isha:aiy yai yo.....you be soo naahty*hides face

me:come na come na.....we'll use chatri

LOL

conversations

2010-01-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

god:what do you want me to do with you?

me:whatever you think is right?

god:and what do you think is right?

me:there is no right or wrong....only perceptions

god:and if i say you were wrong then??

me:*shrugz....you would be right ..you are god afterall??

god:yes i am.so where did you go wrong???

me: you made me a human??

god:is that wrong??its a gift

me:thats what you think..i would prefer to be something else

god:is this how you talk??

me:you're sounding like my mum

god:you're blaming me for the way you lived your life

me:well i've been meaning to say this.its all well and good for you to say that sitting on your big throne moving us around like chess pieces

god:so you think its easy...try controlling the life of a gazillion people each day..

me:ohh comeon it must be easy....all you need is a few energy drinks

god:you have the nerve to question my decisions and authority???

me:i am jobless

god:*angrily..fine we'll swap for 1 day and see...

me:*looking gleeful..allright!!!!

after a day(when he and i meet)

me:fuck!dude you're bloody awesome..how the hell do you manage......

god:ohh my god!(shitt..i said that!)and thats the world i created???

=P =P =P

......into the head of a closet loony...

2010-01-06T00:31:00.000-08:00

list of random things in my head:

-i do not expect the world or my friends to understand this

-everything lacks flavour

-comfort food isn't comforting anymore

-lethargy is taking over

-lifes gray scale instead of Technicolor

-i need a direction

-happiness is a state of mind

-can we start over again

-you are a one man show

-lifes like a tv serial based upon a geeky friendless guy..in the story the character isn't important in reality the character makes the serial

-wheres the adrenaline rush??

-laughter is easy..making others laugh is easier..how much of it is true and how much false...best not to wonder

-my wishlist never ends

-inner whiner

-escape from reality

-buying makes you happy just not enough happy

-hes not important..even if he thinks so unfortunately i need someone to talk to thats the only reason i'm not abandoning him even if he bugs me sometimes

-the eternal romantic in me dreams of london seasons and rakes and prince charming who make me swoon

-80% of women don't have orgasms..please let me not be one of them

-fastforward 20 years..no don't

insanity

2009-12-31T09:10:00.000-08:00

i was the joker of the eve at adi's birthday bash...why??coz i did monisha's acting xD.....xcuse me if i look a lil mad =P..enjoy

long vs short

2009-12-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

i got tired of my unmanageable,long,straggly hair....even looking at it made me shudder(ok now you must be thinking her hair looked pretty nice..yes it did but it wasn't nice-->specially lately)...i was supposed to grow my hair but i can't handle it..its my 2nd attempt at growing and maintaining long hair..i've lost the battle.better to chop them off(swish)..besides short hair on me doesn't look that bad...it suits me and goes with my personality(only yesterday my mum n best friend were saying i should've been a guy xD)

i'm a zombie..a stupid zombie

2009-12-14T01:23:00.000-08:00

i have to do everything at the last moment only..hence for the past week i've been just sleeping from 11-1 (in the night)---->you can't expect me to fail in the exams right??they will kill me. my moods all cranky..even eating mcdonalds burgers is not cheering me up(3 burgers and french fries)...god help me.12ths terrible..look i'm even getting breakouts agrhhhh or agrhhh or agrhhgaah whatever...anyone giving me a free vacation to the amazon???i'd like to settle there...savages are better off..human civilization is getting too competitive...only thing is i don't think you get coke n french fries in the amazon -___-

oh at the moment i'm celebrating the end of my preboards and mourning the fact that i'll probably get papers tomorrow(ok fine my exams weren't bad but they weren't swell either)

miss goody two shoes???umm not really

2009-12-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

well i used to be one till class 10 or thats what people thought.was i really??lets see i was silent(no one believes it now they laugh at that-___-),i was shy(again no one believes especially after the condom incident)

ok now you are curious..well it was like this

we were having a HIV aids talk in the school auditorium(for class 12)and they asked us ways to prevent the spread of AIDS.i was in the first row and i calmly leaned back and said calmly and clearly "condoms" the speaker was like"yeah!thats right condoms) and everyoneelse was like o.O uhh Dipasha!look i didn't speak french ok??

well i'm wandering..ok i was a prefect in class 10..all the teachers were like "dipasha is a very sweet,well behaved girl"

but i was regarded as boring then which pretty much sucks..no one calls me boring now..they call me a time-bomb(uhmm they wait for me to do something disasterous all the time like mixing iodine with dil hCL and act as if its blood n scream ouch or dance in front of the bio teach--you know the naah na na naah na types).well screw people for thinking m kinda insane or i use the word"fuck too much"(ohkk i stopped using it..even the replacement but my all time fav is still WTF).but you know i can easily say that when someones around me(including a stranger or a silent type of person who refuses to talk i can make em talk) they'll never be bored..

being good is so so ohh i dunno BORING..besides i was always evil from inside xD

speed

2009-12-03T01:14:00.000-08:00

isha said aditya was talking about me to her today(duhh no soppy mushy stuff) uhmm listen..he said

mahn ohh mahn dipasha drives way fast..i remember once she was driving behind me and i looked after 5 min she wasn't there..then i looked in front and she was way ahead..xD

shes always getting hurt..its so common for her to be in accidents

HAHA

ok i USED TO drive fast..not anymore(i guess) especially after i got 2 stitches on my chin(not becoz it hurt..its becoz i trashed the activa..mum said 1 more time and no more driving)

i love overtaking guys(its so much fun) especially guys on bike(if i can) xD

i always wanted to drive a bike..my neighbor has yamaha R1 xD

when we played"monisha"

2009-11-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

shes unique..she really is ..so on the auspicious occasion of her 17th birthday we decided to dedicate our "fucking GST"period to her...(with exceptions)

here was the result of "fishpond"

*takshay i haven't touched you
*wish monisha,ashu and mohit a happy married life
*why is ashutosh called susu??
*i can just one thing to goyal-monkeys are for scratching
*shubhangi i love you-monisha
*happy birthday ashutosh,mohit and paridh
*shaadu why do you wear kaajal?
*chintan you are jain chilli chicken
*sagar+monisha
*baapu jai maata di
*monisha stop ordering belts from store room,they are for boys
*mohit monisha is mine!
*sagar wears a thong and goes to marathon..

Mum Mum Mum

2009-11-17T04:27:00.000-08:00

my mum came back from delhi a couple of days back bringing me a couple of jackets(the usual sporty varieties fila,puma yadda yadda) so while i was checking them out i heard mum talking to dad..

she was saying while sitting at the railway station waiting for the train a guy came n sat down next to her..he was like "till where are you going??" my mum was like"why?you are going to pay for my fare??"..he was like "no!no! dunn get angry i was asking just like that..just wanted to know"...my mums like "theres no need now go or should i call that constable??"..so hes like"no!no! i'm going i'm going"(and he ran-->swarmy moron)
HAHA it cracked me up..my mum naaa....and then she was singing "sasura chance maare re" LMAO(non hindi speaking people won't get this)

today isha and i were sitting in physics lab..

isha:i do R.D sharma everyday
me:yeahh??i dunn
isha:hes a double gold medalist from IIT .must be 60+
me:sala R.D. khudd bhi nai sotaa doosron ko bhi sone nai deta
drashi:HAHAHA

about love

2009-11-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

love?whats love???

i honestly dunno whats love

what mum dad do when they buy something for me or scold me if i'm wrong??
or when my friends get sad when i am sick/sad/hurt myself??
or what my best friend feels for me??
or what i felt when i was infatuated or had a crush??
or what my x feels for me??

doesn't love make you feel complete??but i'm still incomplete..i never feel as if i'm satisfied with this life??does anyone really love/care for me or they just pretend??

do they actually think this girls such a big moron that she does this and this for me or they actually mean when they say"you are the sweetest person ever"??

does anyone care a shit when i pretend to be happy and i'm not??
do they actually like me or i'm just tolerable for some unknown reason???

and i can't put my finger on the fact that why i feel lonely even when i have so many friends???do i keep myself emotionally away from them at a certain level thats why???

why do i keep on asking "do you love me" (sometimes just in mind) even when they say they do?why don't i believe?

why do i hurt myself and wait for someones reaction?why do i do bad things like smoking and drinking and wait to see if anyone cares?why do i want to be the centre of attention all the time even if i have to be a joker for that??why??

is that my thirst for this thing called LOVE...

because i'm bored

2009-11-14T03:55:00.000-08:00

someone tied monisha's bag to the exhaust ..ok i know who...it was sagar(with my help) xD.....

i died the onion roots in bio lab red...hair coloring is fun till you are caught by the teach

spreading mundane rumors like the head boy wears kaajal and recieving positive feedback..hmm strange

bunking school thrice a week..making it a routine....

picking up a worm and running after your friend with it

being looked at all the time..expecting me to blow up like a bomb is well uhh i dunnoo...people always expect me to be upto some mischief..i wonder why???

how to make maths tutions bearable

2009-11-08T00:27:00.000-08:00

studies are a chore
my lifes a bore!

khantil:hey dipasha listen to this joke
me:ok fine say

santa:banta tu apni car ko lekar kaha ja raha hai?
banta: car khane
santa:pizza kha le..car koi khane ki cheez hai??

santa:teri biwi kaha hai banta??
banta:woh mere dost ke saath bhaag gayi
santa:bahaut yaad aati hoogee na??
banta:haan yaar mera bahaut accha dost tha

a bird pooped on santa's head
santa:(at the bird) abe oye tu chaddi nai pehanta kya??
bird:abe oye tu chaddi mein karta hai kya??

i'm a retard

2009-11-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

gonna make a video of this soon just to see people's reaction
here goes my rap/song(i wrote it last night HAHA) ..this is soo crappy HAHA

i've been stuck here all along
so i sing a boring song
about stupidity and shitt
coz i'm a lil git
so if you're not interested
get outta here
i haven't got brains
you can see that for sure
i haven't got socks
i throw breadcrumbs at stupid ducks
and as you can see i'm obviously insane
all i talk about is all things inane

i don't sing
i don't have a guitar
so cut off my nose
and boil me in tarr
boo yaa i'm a retard
retard,retard!retard!retard!retard!retard!

then why are you stuck up watching this piece of shit
coz you know you are jobless
and you like a stuck up bitch
you've got bulging eyeballs
and bogies up your nose
so clean it up before you catch a cold
i don't have hobbo bags and gucci pants
i definitely don't have silicone implants
i don't like apple tarts
and yes i fart
so thank you very much for calling me a retard
retard!retard!retard!retard!

so we cut this piece of junk
coz you're going insane
i'm sure you've had enough of all things mundane
we'll see you sometime when you have clean clothes on
and have had a bath with loofah and soap
don't stare at me moron
your eyes are not pretty
you've had enough beer so sit on your shitty
and when you fart i'll sing it again
coz the world just needs more people going insane
retard!retard!retard!retard!

thursdays are random..fridays are for bunking

2009-11-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

my nets NOT going .....my parents don't want it to go..can YOU beat that shit???haah so i deleted my social networking profiles..hurray!

well anyway cutting the crapp short this is what happened

reema:have you seen sneha's notebook?
me:no why??o.O
reema:there a hand with middle finger pointing and on it there a candle
me:no shit??HAHA a candle??OMG
reema:she pasted a paper on it and wrote math notebook
me:LMFAO
reema:hAHA yeahh even i had one i threw it away
me:-___- silly..
reema:it was over anyway

i went over to have a look what was more funny..you can't even guess

there was a rose in the hand which was connected to a plug point..THATS RIGHT a PLUG POINT!

moving on (in english period)

we were talking about teenage delusions

MAM: i'm sure when you were in class 9 you must have been under the wrong impression that a guys your BF just because he smiled at you
you would've gushed about him looking at you
and i'm sure when you've seen heroines dancing on TV you must have imagined yourself sometime

Me and reema: snickering

Mam:comeon don't be shy tell me tell me(as if thats gonna happen)

Sankalp: *raises a hand*

class: *dies laughing

me to reema:hes imagining himself as madhuri dixit

reema:*clutches her tummy

mam: no need to laugh..he was honest!

ashutosh:you said heroine!

timepass

2009-10-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

i wasn't feeling nice so i ended up drawing..this is what i drew no painted coz i didn't use pencil only infact i had no idea what i was painting till i made this..so tablet colours ain't that bad afterall..

dedicated to a girl

2009-10-31T02:26:00.000-07:00

for every little girl who wishes to dream....and especially for that one sad,sorrowful girl who has little to laugh in this life(atleast she thinks) i dedicate this post(aritry)

i am a cynic..i don't believe in miracles till i see them,i don't believe in hopes,wishes,fantasies but i have them anyway...

i have been and perhaps will always be atleast to my eyes that little girl who looks into the mirror and is never satisfied with what she has...unhappy with her personality,looks,decisions,past,emotions ...

but nothing is impossible in this world...marks,looks,boyfriends,happiness,trivial little heartfelt dreams..we all have something to be happy about but we just tend to forget...isn't it said before??we are never satisfied with what we have coz we don't value it.we take it for granted..our parents,our school,our clothes,our friends,our desires....things like chocolates,colours are not in some girl of our ages destiny..when we set out to compare there will always be a better person than us in every single field w see that but what about the opposite as in people worse than us??i have been through all the troubles maybe even more than some people but there are people worse than me and i know it so i try to be happy ..its just life..i have learnt the lesson hard way trust me..but it pays to be happy and make others happy too so i try my best..in hindi we say"mera kya jaata hai?" so true nothing goes right in trying to smile rather than moping around....every person has happy memories we just forget...i hope you take my last words in the right way coz an attempt by you can change your life kiddo believe me lifes not a fairytale that one moment you are in sunshine and the next in darkness or vice versa its a trasition...you deserve good things..each and every one of you..but lifes about give and take sometimes more about giving...
laugh coz you know its right
cry coz you need to let out what you feel
but never give up coz this is the journey called life..we each come alone go alone make the journey worthwhile and believe me its in your hands....life is 95% how we react to it.you'll e surprised how much a perspective can alter your destiny..i've been you...i've felt you..think of me like a sister and think and say to yourself"i am better than other and i'll show them" look into the mirror and see the diamond sparkling within you ...its you whose special.BELIEVE IT!

i wrote this for a friend of mine once (long ago when i was in class 10-->so ignore the kiddishness)

A child said:

One day I asked god

Why did you have to make me so

Why couldn’t I have been more beautiful, talented, lovable or good?

So people would accept me as they should

Why couldn’t I have had money and fame?

So that everyone in the world should know my name..

Why do I have so much sadness and strife

So that I am unhappy with my life

Oh! Answer me why did you do this to me?

Is that all that’s written in my destiny?

God answered her in the following way..:

Dear child,

I made you with a purpose in mind

To make a person lovely and kind

To make a human different from the rest

To stand apart is to be truly blessed

You are beautiful in your own special way

Surely I don’t have to say?

Vanity is a temporary gift

I assure you even without it you are better than the best

What people may think that’s their own opinion

In my eyes your are one in a billion..

Money and fame are not everything you know

When you have inner good why depend on outer show?

You are sad because you want to be

What you have is just what you fail to see..

You have been born with a whole mind

You aren’t deaf, mute or blind

Alas! you are blind to any ones pain but your own

All you do is just mourn

Look around you carefully & you’ll see how blessed you truly are

Go on.. you don’t have to look far

Look outside the window, see the stray puppy, the begger, their life

Now tell me compared to them what is your strife?

I just made you

That’s where my duty ends

It is upto you how you take lifes various curves and bends

You could remain sad ,think of your life as dull and gray

Or you could think-wow!its a beautiful day..

The choice is yours own to make

And remember your destiny is just yours to shape….

and yeahh that pic is my me xD i made long time back xD

and i'll be back with more =P

2009-10-30T07:05:00.001-07:00

i have reached the ripe age of 17...and its time time to give my crappy exams which are supposed to decide my life... think...a 3 digit no on the computer screen can decide your destiny ..a piece of paper can make u ohh i dunno??successful...thats all ok in writing but hell i have to give boards anyway....might as well give it nicely no?? and with the net its not possible so on 6th this month nothing will be there to distract me anymore..(cut!cut!)

so comrades xD..i'll see you in couple of months hopefully with a nice board card which actually shows nothing of my abilities BUT is important anyway xD...89% in 10th wasn't enough(mind you i didn't work hard) still i am hoping and people are EXPECTING... anyone missing me and my wackiness??read all my older posts to feel me there HAHA.....

for my best friend

2009-10-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

i don't know why i'm making this post maybe its because i won't be in touch with him for a long time??

thats another thing that he'll still get a surprise from me on his birthday(i dunno whether he'll like it or not)

you dumbass i care fucking so much about you..i hope you know it(you seem to think i don't but i really do ok)
and i love you like soooooooooooooooo sooooooooo much can't even say......

you are the sweetest thing alive cause you friggin care bout everyone(i'm jealous sometimes) but i know you love me alot too...you still haven't showed me the song you wrote for me i guess i'll have to wait a couple of months now...

i feel like a fucking fool..i can't believe i almost lost you.....god i'm crazy to even try to separate you from me..its impossible..coz coz??i friggin love you..YAYY! i don't care if this sounds emo mahn who cares??arehh its my blog....

i'm gonna thrash you personally next year...bet it on your hot ass LOL...keep loving the chics..
xD..keep flirting..keep acting dumb coz i love you the way you are...you are the only DEVIL in my life..irreplacable..i can't even love my BF that much(when i have one) xD....

love yours forever insane
cookie

god and other mundane things

2009-10-30T06:35:00.001-07:00

a post i came accross made me comment like this...i dunno i just put it here
topic:does god exist or NOT?

you know according to me it doesn't matter that you believe in him or not...as long as you are happy....why do we believe??we believe coz it gives us hope for miracles miracles can be anything..anything...i don't believe in idol worship or forms so one of my friends mother told me why do we worship human figures..its coz believing in something is comforting and the human form is the closest to us..to actually think that god looks like people see it is not a very intelllectual thing to do..for everyone its different for you it could be a non-living thing...a rock?a statue?? a poster?? the thing is faith..coz believe it or not there are higher powers..scientific theory explains evolution but what on this earth can explain howw hydrogen or helium or what other stupid irrelevant stuff actually came into being??? something must have made that thing...does a voice in your head tell you stop you from doing wrong thing or tries atleast..thats god...a person who helps you without selfish reason thats god..find your god..my god is my conscience i don't care if others find this logic stupid...it gives me peace..a higher power with no shape face voice but only spirit that guides me by being me....thats the concept of god for me..

bored you didn't i??

so now tell me does that make me a atheist coz people think i am....well i hve my own form of belief what is a religion idol anyway..created by some other human only..get my point?? find YOUR faith ....you'll find true peace and contentment i won't talk shit about suicide and stuff coz i've been there too

PMS

2009-10-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

5 people asked me yesterday and today whats wrong???why aren't you talking?why is your mood sour??why are you silent??why are you sad?why are you not interested??why are you moping??why??
WHY??
WHY??
and all i said was i don't know ok..i don't i don't but my moods crappy...this morning i came to know the answer
PMS!
brings out the bad sad of every sweet chic and every BF's nightmare xD

granpa

2009-10-26T23:26:00.000-07:00

my granpas a sweetheart...he takes my pranks and funtalk in the right way nd hes a little bit of a prankster too...loves to rub my mum in the wrong way xD....

yesterday he was sitting beside me i put the headphones in his ears and the song by chance was JAO NAA after 4 min he got up..i'm like granpa where are you going??hes like you only said naa JAO NAA..LOL

and i took this pic of him with a coconut shell on his head xD

getting shorty xD

2009-10-24T04:33:00.000-07:00

i wish i had a BF who'd do all the things ranbir does to katrina in "teraaa hone laaga hun" ohh fine i'm a big baby
mum and i just had this conversation
mum: you know you are a baby..you'll never grow up
me: i know..i dunn wanna grow up why should i??
mum: you act like you are in class 6
me: no i act like i'm in class 2
mum: i hate your shorts you've been wearing it since class 4
me: soo?? BTW its the last one you tore all the other 3
mum: i didn tear them
me: i know it was you..its a conspiracy haah i just know it
mum: dipasha stop it
me: i know it its was YOU xD
mum:when i was your age i wore salwar kameez guys couldn't see my legs
me: what a pity..extremely sad
mum:these days girls wear nothing ..just two strings here n there
me: yeahh i know mum
mum: i'll wear it too then you'll see
me: wear it naa..i saw this fatso wearing it at the pool the other day HAHA
mum:uff i'm going
me:byee mum

sheer boredom and temper tantrums

2009-10-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

i'm getting bored in my hols..i've downloaded insane amounts of music,watched t.v(which basically has nothing),danced...and finally i've been reduced to trying to make me look wacky
standing upside down on my head
saying really stupid things
throwing temper tantrums if i don't get attention
getting angry at mum coz she opened the big limca bottle without me(imagine i'm so jobless)
screaming and sliding around the house
jumping up and down
punching dad
writing stories
photography of my favorite subject --->me

and catch this-->OMG something fucking funny happened mum got me burgers n shes tellin me she went to mcdonalds..she like there was this lady in front of her who gave dirty looks to mum coz she ordered non veg n said aapko tameez nahi hai??ma mums like huhh?>shes like ur ordering non veg in front of me..mum said aapka screw dhila hai??HAHAHAshe kept on arguing u have no respect mums like then dunn come here...its not mandir xD

*see the fake piercing LOL

analysis--hear!hear!

2009-10-20T04:06:00.000-07:00

something i've observed in so many girls (and me too)

-->we continue wearing high heels even though our feet are killing us(they go ouch!ouch!ouch!)
-->we always say to others "oh no i'm not beautiful" but sometimes slyly look in the mirror in private and say"hmm i do look good"
-->we say we don't bitch but do it anyway"i can't believe she said that about me..how horrible.....her dressing sense is so tacky..remember the orange number but i never said that..i've never even said that she got dumped by her BF and not vice versa...and she ohh my gawwd! xD)
-->we say we aren't particular about clothes(oh! i don't really care about my clothes that much)...but i reality we try atleast 10 tshirts and 4 pairs of jeans
-->we talk about being satisfied with ourselves but but but we are jealous of every single better looking girl
-->and when someone says a particular girl looks good(she does) we say ohh i didn't notice..i think shes average...no ones model material here
-->the biggest lie ever??well when someone we like/love/have a crush on pays attention to someother girl we get mad and deny theres anything wrong(oh no..whats wrong?noway i'm not mad) but we're hopping mad and we could kill.the guy asks us "are you jealous??"and we are like"jealous..bullshitt dude"

its tiring to be sad

2009-10-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

i agree i used to regarded as boring,ugly,weird,lonely etc etc......no one can change that...behenji too maybe..but ahh well dash it all..you get tired of being called stuff like"oh MY GAWDDDD look at that chic shes so ugly"...fine fine..was it my fault i had glasses n acne...give the kiddo dipasha a break .......all that judging really punched me in my gut..and i got tired of being sad..i used to be perpetually sad.....ahh well lifes different now....but still its hard to forget the dreadful times ...miserable..so i guess i tried to be happy with what i have and what do you know it wasn't so bad...well atleast outwardly everyone calls me a lunatic whose always cracking PJs or pulling pranks..and while pretending to be happy while making other people smile you actually start smiling..xD...and i am not lonely anymore even if its outwardly...emotionally is something else....

goats at discount price

2009-10-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

me and my dad sometimes talk a little wackily just for the kicks...like when he goes to the loo i say hes gone to Singapore..stuff like that xD..so anyway this is what happened we were at dmart once and they were selling this tea at 50% discount..it was called "waagbakri"(bakri in hindi means goat) so i was like "dad do you want some goats they are giving at 50% discount here"
..dad didn't reply i turned and dad wasn't standing behind
it was an uncle
and he was looking at me like i'm a lunatic..i was like "uhh hehe" and ran..then i told mum and dad..they were laughing like crazy =P

trademark

2009-10-07T02:28:00.000-07:00

Stuff made by me/for me which are basically me xD(makes no sense i know)

the bag was made my my mum(cute right??-->i luv it)

the diary by me

and ofcourse the crappy sketches are by me too

Love Advice

2009-10-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

i had this poster given to me by a guy...some kind of romantic stuff

it had things written like

play with her hair
make her angry then kiss her
throw pebbles at her window at night n bla bla

i took it to school showed it to one of my pals

then when school got over i posted it on the school notice board giving the title advice for dorkily hopeless guys

needless to say it got alot of attention..the next morning when i came every guy was reading it n laughing...i was like HAHA who posted that???(remember i did it that day n i came late to school next day)they were like no idea*grinzz

2009-09-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

my SaRI pictures --->remember the sari that opened up xD...????

i finally got it from KHYATI while we were discussing some art record contest we are participating in ...notice i'm the only one who was bent in one of the pics ..in the rest of the pics i look too demure(which i assure everyone i am most definitely not -->someone even made a joke of it)I"M THE ONE IN GREEN.....

<----the one bending is me

i don't like crowds

2009-09-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

i've tried again and again to check whether its true put i've come to the conclusion i hate parties n gatherings (xcept the ones where the crowd ain't that much and you have one on one conversations =P) like yesterday on aditi,neha n pallavi's insistence i went for garba(though mind you i know i'm hopeless at dancing).i tried i really did but i'm dancing challenged xD.....i gave up they pretty much enjoyed we came back at 11.30...i guess it wasn't that bad..

thats me in green n aditi in blue n neha's kiddo bro behind us....xcuse the haze =P..theres a clear pic but i don't really care LOL

2009-09-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

after the sari mishap i was like i'm never ever gonna wear a sari again..so monisha was like then how will you get married.... i said i'll get married in a bikini xD reema couldn't stop laughing at that =P

2009-09-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

My Friggin Sari Unraveled on Teachers day

no no i kid you not xD...even though the pics say something else.....ok maybe i even look nice in it that doesn't change the fact that i felt soo bloody uncomfortable in it..i love saris like really they look good but hello its not for a girl like me no no NO WAy...all the time i was like when am i going home??i wanna tear this thing out snuggle up under the blankets in my shorts..is that such a bad thing???my friends were laughing at my expressions(they knew .just knew i was pissed .it was all on my face)if you are someone hyper like me chances are you'll go mad wearing a sari(god i'll stick to my shorts)and the worst n funniest part..my sari ultimately opened(no no one saw n i was wearing tights under that sari(LOL)and i just cluched at it and thought this is it..we laughed so hard in the girls room(see this is what you get being the class joker you ultimately end up doing the thing people never think and being the choice specimen)..well anyway the teach fixed the sari but she like some other people said.."dipasha your waist is so tiny"yeahh???well so what...ok i agree my sari was low waist ..i wanted to look good uhmm dunn blame me(and by the look of the pics maybe i did too but it was hell-->pure hell)

well the teach fixed the bloody thing but i had enuf..told dad to come with a tshirt.. you know what i did??i went in the car put a tshirt over my blouse tugged the stupid sari off (told you i had tights underneath) HAHA.....

2009-09-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

let me break away why?what?how? no no i don't want to think i don't want to breathe i don't want to move stand still in time fastforward time know what i want??? no?maybe?yes?who knows? embrace me in a cocoon i'm lost find me. let me go..please just let me go.. life....what is it but to live??

music like that xD

2009-09-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

i love lily allen..don't ask me why...xD...
i love her spunk and her song lyrics
her album its not me its you is so damn cool....i'm her fan HAHA
gawwd shes so like me..she makes me laugh and ok i find her pretty awesome =P

some of my fav songs by her are
-the fear
-everyone's at at
-him
-fuck you
-not fair
-back to the start

1,2.. buckle my shoe

2009-08-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

i danced like crazy the other day..we had a ganpati visarjan at our school....12th is supposed to take part..you bet i took part..screaming and dancing with lazems LOl...even though mind you i'm not religious atall but hey its fun to be a lunatic once in a while well i'm a lunatic always only...
eg:my convo with isha i threw her pencil box at her and it hit her chest
isha:kamini dekh toh kaha phek rahi hai
me:sali kyun lagi kya??
isha:vehh obviously
me: i thought it didn't matter..it'll just bounce off you see..you and tripathi mam are relatives
isha:mouth open..kamini.tujhe dekhti hunn mai
me:ducking from isha's blow
xD yes thats the way me and my pals generally talk shubhz is used to me calling her kamini,saali,behaya,badtameez,bewakoof(she calls me back too)--it shows our pyaar
abhishek:i was saying something important
me:what you are impotent?i'd heard rumours =P
you know i'm a choti bacchee..i bought 8 stickers the other day

5 people said i have a sweet,baby voice 2 said i have beautiful eyes LOL i said i'm a wacko and don't mind being one

snoopy,spongebob(the battle for the bikini bottom),teddies,emo skulls etc =P -->my sticker collection

2009-08-25T20:22:00.000-07:00

i'm been like super--duppperr busy ahhhhhhhh....but well uhmm lifes hectic guys.....studies et all...and someone thought it was funny to take my scooty and park it near the police station(ok like whateva) ..i'm reading(no listening) to ALL AMERICAN GIRL by MEG CABOT on my ipod(you see i read alot but if my parents saw me reading they'll go mad so audiobook is the next best thing--actually better) and bloody hell its so cool...its hilarious i love it its AWESOME ITS AWESOME ......i can't astop laughing and you know samantha reminds me alot of me xD try it.....=P

Top ten reasons Samantha Madison is in deep trouble: 10) Her big sister is the most popular girl in school. 9) Her little sister is a certified genius. 8) She's in love with her big sister's boyfriend 7) She got caught selling celebrity portraits in school 6) And now she's being forced to take art classes 5) She's just saved the president of the United States from an assassination attempt 4) So the whole world thinks she is a hero 3) Even though Sam knows she is far, far from being a hero 2) And now she's been appointed teen ambassador to the UN and the number one reason Sam's life is over? 1) The president's son just might be in love with her

those interested in "listening"-click

things i never say

2009-08-21T23:47:00.000-07:00

-->i wish i was more stable
-->and more beautiful(whatever i look today is with loads of effort)..i wish i was naturally beautiful
-->i wish i was loved by everyone
-->i love my mum dad even though i never tell them..sometimes it just shows when i hugg them or play with them
-->i wish i could always do what my heart desires
-->if it were in my hands i wouldn't be in the rat race..rather into designing or arts or creative writing or social service but i have to take the general path..
-->i want all the usual things girls want a nice guy,a great home and kids..but m too embarrassed to say so
-->i am an attention seeker..a very big one...
-->i'd love to be lost in my dreamland,,i dream alot
-->i'm a pessimist
-->i kind of hate me
-->many people may consider me as a good friend..but its actually difficult to gain my trust even though i come accross as a very friendly person
-->i'm kind of self-destructive
-->i want to adopt a kid
-->i hate people who judge others by outer looks..i loathe them
-->i adore kids....if i ever have the money ill open an orphanage...or in my retirement teach kids HAHA
-->i think a million things at a time
-->i don't understand me or my decisions
-->i talk to a voice in my head which tells me whats right or wrong..rather it mocks me...
-->i don't believe in god
-->i believe in higher powers
-->i believe what goes around comes around
-->i don't want to be super rich but i'm materialistic in certain aspects
-->the thing i want most in the world is stability and love

me n him....happy talk et all

2009-08-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

i talked to him yesterday..OMG it was nice(it always is) =P..long long time..he missed me..well me too..hes settled in his new college..we were talking happy happy (for an hour) lots of things some old some new and then he became sad so i'm like y??hes like he missed me... me too.....he still loves me a little ok not little alot..and what else do i say o.O we talked alot mostly about me(uff i talk too much) LOL he has too many pals..his best friend loves him o.O well not that shocking you can kind make out =P..i want them to be together he wants us to be together again but uhh u know long distance et all... anyway anyway hes my best friend still ^__^......i have to call him on his birthday or he'll kill me LOL

jump,scream,laugh

2009-08-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

today while they were giving badges at the prefect council i was thinking why the hell is everyone so serious..i wanted to go on stage and do something silly like do a tapdance or pull the principle's nose....i wonder what would the reaction be??i sometimes get these urges when theres too much of silence to scream loudly or dance on the table to do something silly..rarely i act on those urges... i had this idea once..i'd got a really cute piece of paper from someone i'd got it to school..it had stuff written like "play with her hair".."make her angry then kiss her ".."lift her up" etc our class boys are dorks so i wondered what would their response be like to stuff like this ..so i secretely put it up on the class notice board under the heading"advice for hopeless guys" ater school and saw the response the other day..it was hilarious everyone was crowded around the board laughing xD...wondering whose done it..i had ofcourse arrived then so no one could pin it on me..i just pretended to be shocked and laughed along xD i was a prefect once yes unbelievable right??i was a good kid then =P..now i'm to loud,brash disobediant to be a "prefect" you gotta lick the teacher's shoes..i am completely against that =P

blaa blaa

2009-08-18T02:05:00.000-07:00

i made this doodle the other day..i rarely doodle these dayz o.O

look at this..its a keychain i bought few days back(i'm rich i'm rich!)don't ask why i bought it..its different i guess..anyway its become quite popular..varshal and khantil wanted one too =P

sagar and isha bugged me today....they took my keys(i called isha a bhaiss HAHA)well anyway i got tired of jumping and running i ultimately had to tickle sagar...=P

our bio teach talked about smooching and her first puff

someone smacked my butt LOL no not a guy =P

reema ran after me for some reason i thing i made fun of her i forgot

anyway then what..??

yaa a couple ov guys were staring at me from 3rd floor drinking coffee while i was talking and singing with aditi n pallavi like i'm a mildly interesting programme(i think it was becoz i was singing too loudly HAHA)

In your face

2009-08-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

i have an ego...oh big time ego xD..(no one knows it though) somethings you'll notice if you are around me
-->i talk alot
-->i laugh alot
-->i will bugg u alot
-->i will contradict you instantly if i think you are wrong -->regardless of whatever i do you will still like me(haha thats an art)
-->i am a big time attention seeker
-->i talk loudly with comical expressions =P -->i'm rude to people who have unnecessary attitude(i bring them down to earth)
-->if i don't like something i don't keep it in me if i like something i don't keep it in me either

we had GST today(general studies duhh some stupid kind of activity period) so we have this teacher..hes so full of himself.. hes like i can teach you anything english,math bla bla i was like lets teach you what being on earth is like...me n my pals were gagging..so he was asking about authors..so i said sidney sheldon...hes like he centres his plot around only 3 characters i'm like what??his each book is different i disagree and he called him a "her" i was like him its a him....rude and to the point thats me..what a loser..i hate attitude blahh

The song i listen to these days =)

2009-08-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

i don't know why i like it..i just do....its from my favorite band =)

the most embarrassing question

2009-08-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

even when i don't want to be i end up being naughty HAHA

the most embarrassing question(for them) i've ever asked was to my parents

WHAT IS A CONDOM?

i was in class 7 that time(i swear i had no idea what it was-->yes i know i was an inno)anyway so i'd been wondering for a while cozz i used to see ads on tv.then i saw a sign saying kamasutra"khee-khee" we were in the car! so i'm suddenly like

whats a condom??

mum dad were like o.O then mum was laughing dad was smiling..

dads like balloon
i'm like"really"
dad"yaa it is"
mum was laughing so i said tell me the truth naa
i pestered them then gave up..
all they said was balloon...

i still laugh over it..

bunking

2009-08-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

shubhz and i often thought about bunking school but never had the right day...anyway on teachers day i hit upon an idea...its difficult to get a gate pass so i nicked around 10 gate passes from the teachers desk that day...xD i gave shubhz 5 and took 5(it was a deal LOL) well anyway that friday we decided to come to school get out by 2nd period and go to my home and watch some movies,sit on the net etc etc so i told wrote two fake names on the pass(prerna bajaj and anjali sharma LOL)faked a signature and i pretended i was sick(the watchmans super thick i tell you) so after we got out we went to more had ice-cream.bought a couple ov things like chocolates,chips,biscuits etc etc and went to my house(mum dad were outta town) we sat on the net,watched movie..i made shubhz some chicken cutlets and cheese toast(me-->the great chef)... actually it wasn't the only time we bunked..we also went to the cafe opp school once or twice i ultimately used to drop shubhz back to school when it got over so she could catch her bus xD

my first prank

2009-08-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

right so at that time i never thought i'll do such a thing..i was supposedly innocent(everyone thought so too) but i guess i had an evil side which no one had ever seen...

anyway so there was this girl(i forgot what her name was) who was 5 years elder to me.she and her sis used to tease me and my friend swati alot.i wanted to do "something" to her but what i had no idea...

well something did happen and it started quite innocently to be honest.i was a kid then(class 5 or so) swati and i saw some white powder under a tree and poured some water over it.it turned out to be flour.so we made a dough out of it.but the problem was the soil was black in colour so it started looking like cow poop.then i got an idea..i asked swati to bring some grass and mix it..knead the dough properly so its jet black...it look like cow poop for sure now..

i divided it into 2 sections and placed one piece in front of the girl's door and one piece at the back of her house and then we waited.at 8 p.m. that night the girl came out...she slipped on the fake"cow poop" fell flat on her butt and cried "oh shit"..haha i felt soooooo good that time..i was hiding so i had to control my laughter..i got even with her...haha..thats how the prankster in me was unleashed xD

2009-08-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

i was bugged of my depressing side..so i thought why not put the peppy me up too.......and i'm bored..so these are my memoirs---memoirs of a girl who never wants to grow up =P